Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Fergus' LiveJournal:

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Sunday, May 9th, 2004
11:22 pm	Life and Spring London. Now. The weather here is pretty boring at the moment. Day after day, clouds, rain, wind, cold, hail a bit, thunder a bit... Then suddenly comes a clear day. Little cloud, dazzling sun. The people go nuts. Outside every pub with tables the chairs fill with happy families, children fidgeting not knowing why they have been dragged away from their computers and game boys, their cartoons on tv and barbie dolls. They have been sat on damp grass in the windy park while mum and dad gazed happily around themselves. "Look little Mary, look Joshua! There's a TREE and it has green leaves! Children this is nature, isn't it wonderful??" The children grumble and play with their noses. The grass rich, deep, green, long from not being cut during so much miserable weather, like a thickly-layered, shaggy hairstyle across the land. The scene is beautiful. Back at the pub, with grass green-stained clothes now, the parents sip wine carefully while piling junk food in front of the thoroughly bored kids. Crowds jabber excitedly and pairs of lovers walk past, gazing at each other rather than the wonders around them. Pigeons scrabble over the half-eaten meals left at one of the tables and the children delight in frightening them. NOW at least, the little angels are happy to be there. A boy of about 6 talks to the other children loudly about some bit of child’s world stuff connected with bodily functions; a new couple sit at the next table and the man seeks to express the pains in his life to this woman who listens so at tentatively. He might even return the favour when she tries to talk. I sit on the wall overlooking that Thames, my back to the water, slowly drinking a pint of iced lager, surreptitiously watching the people arrive and leave, each with a complex story, ebbing and flowing in the time-honoured way. In the river the tide is high, the flotsam interesting. A speedboat goes downriver, a cruise ship upwards. Slap slap the wavelets hit the old slimy green stone embankment underneath me. Later, the tide will be out and the motley crew of metal detectors will be down there hunting for rusty shapeless bits of “stuff” A roman artefact or a ten year old remnant of a baked been can. No one cares, the hunt is the thing, the reason to be “out there” mixing with nature. The pub, sitting there since 1695, sits modestly unmoved as the patrons come and go. Life. Life is fun. Spring is a nice time of year. Maybe the sun will be back some time later this week! Or next. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 14th, 2004
3:16 am	Seeing The Future - and Creating it Part 4 Both topics of this title seem at first glance far out and impossible. Both appear to be out of line with science. But what if they are not out of line? What if they are connected into the deepest thoughts of the particle physicists? If nothing else, it makes them more fun to explore. Interested? Read on... ( Read more... ) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 23rd, 2004
6:59 am	Thanks to karinrg for this Choose your month strike out the words that don't apply to you (< strike > and < /strike >) embolden those 4 you think most apply (< b > and < /b >) [remove extra spaces from html codes above to get them to work] Have fun! SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive.Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic. JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious. FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions. MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others.Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody. APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see. MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift. JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn. JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover. AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends. SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive.Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic. OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children. NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable. DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, February 16th, 2004
5:46 am	Valentine's Dancing Night We have all heard the old song “Oh What A Night….” Haven’t we? Well, I had one of those this Valentine’s certainly. Amongst the things I do in my work is production and events producer/director for a self-development group. It is work I love. We all have days when we say “Oh, I just don’t feel like it today” but when you are involved in a team I think it gives you a bit of an extra boost to keep plugging away at what you are doing, adding, thinking, creating, sorting, listening, changing your mind, orchestrating, discussing…. etc. So, for this group, a very lovely lady was organising a Valentine’s Night Party/Dance in a West End of London club – very costly area, but she has arranged a great deal. The marketing was pathetic, she was let down time after time by the IT department, to the point of saying she was not going to do any more events for us. Now that was bad news. She is very capable and would be a big loss. I did as much as I could, making a power-point and showing it to the audience at a monthly meeting, having the MC announce it clearly and so on. Therefore, for those of you still with me, it seemed only right to go to the party. Ticket price not very high, but if I went by public transport I would have to leave by 11pm, or pay a LOT for a taxi home. Peddle bike is free though…. But….. How can I ride 10 miles on the bike in the cold night (but not so cold I won’t get VERY hot) and look smart when I get there? Change of clothes on back of bike. I was thinking fairly neat black pants and shoes and a beautifully tasteless tee-shirt I bought at an awesome little museum/country bar in Flagstaff in October. MAIN STREET USA across the back, under a big stars and stripes shield with a Harley riding away dead centre, a biker girl with the shortest possible shorts on behind the biker. It would be good, right? Wrong. A lady friend whose ideas of taste are usually spot on, partly because she has a brain I suppose, said “You can’t wear THAT?” Why not? “It’s a dance, you should dress up.” Hmmmm, problem… press pants, iron my favourite shirt – the only thing wrong with which is arms long enough for a gorilla – think about gently packing them on top of the raincoat in a big shoulder bag. Gingerly lay a very sharp jacket I don’t want crushed on the top and put shoes and biking tools in the side pouches. Comb hair, wear biking helmet so the wind doesn’t leave me looking like I have just been electrocuted and away I went…… 40 minutes to within a few streets of the club, 10 minutes finding the club. Stop to eat my banana before going in. There is a strict dress code, I am dressed in a bright orange biking top with MINT SAUCE and some absurd cartoon character on it, gift from a lady friend when we were going to do a 60 mile ride together, It is cloth that breathes and dries fast – plus helmet, bike, bag, gloves. Is there somewhere I can chain my bike, yeah, in the street, the bouncers will be here. Sounds good. Can I come in and change? Yep, use the lavatory…. I am early, place deserted. How do you tie a necktie again?? Arghghghhh struggle struggle, ahhh all done. All my sinful biking stuff now zipped up in bag, like I am some hit man who enters an embassy via the servants entrance and comes out looking like he is a member of the secret service wearing a suit. Ha! It’s James Bond, or rather his papery cousin Basildon.. swagger swagger, mind the shoes don’t trip you, pay for ticket… free glass of red wine. Getting better. Lady organiser is dressed in such a way that you just KNOW that she could breast feed for her nation, (Neal, you would faint). Guests arriving, what is this self-dev thing you are part of, away we go networking…. Then the dancing started, I left after 7 hours of that and the rest were still going strong. Lots of business contacts, lots of dancing, but no slow music and no snogs!3 beers, those little Grolsh things. “What are you having?” I am asked and every time say: “Thanks a Grolsch.” Why do I do that? I HATE the stuff. It is happy hour to start, so it only costs £2.50, that is about $4.00 to you in America. We are talking West End basement club prices here! American woman bashes into the back of me and drops her glass of champagne. Demands a replacement. I can’t see why I should, she calls me an “asshole” and walks away. I sand dance on the glass for a little while then slide it all to the side and carry on dancing. Sorta lost my rhythm though. About 2am I actually DID buy her the glass of champers. “In America they have handguns” she said “So when you spill someone’s drink you are polite and replace it. “ If you are to blame yes, but guns? Ahh well, such is life. I find myself after 3 beers and two large glasses of wine as alert as if I had just plunged into an icy pool of water. I am watching the event, sorting out how to improve it for next time. The suit? Ha! The number of business contacts I made was stunning. I was the only man there with a tie on, the only one looking pressed. It seems to have worked very well, so blessings upon that lady, I look forward to telling her she was right, again – even though she will say “See? I was right. You can thank me dear!” 3am, out I come, do I want to change in the lavatory again? Er, no, no thank you. I don’t have any waders on me! So, in the street I take off my tie and change shoes, unlock bike put on helmet… ha now it IS getting cold, mount bike and ride manfully away… ride ride, turn left here… left here… hmmmm… left HERE I think… along her a bit and - aha, there’s the club again, reverse. Try right… interesting, get up some speed and wheeeeeee jump the occasional light, roads clear, wheels spinning… home in 33 minutes. My cell phone is clogged up, so people who matter may have been texting me, can’t deal with that, I have some VERY important messages to copy out of it, can’t just delete… unpack bags, go for a short lie down while kettle is on and… gone. Sleeping and in a Presidential investigation exposing a UFO hoax, which is a bit weird as I am British; why couldn’t I do that for the Queen? Wake up, 7.30, very slight aches in my legs, wide awake, hungry, full of energy, go to work on things here. Photos to upload to editor of magazine so 45 pics to shrink for him…. Emails start flying about that event and many others… it is now 22 hours later and I think I need some more sleep. But yeah, whadddanight. Deafening, and fun, and I think my girlfriend, not able to come this time, realised how much she cares about me knowing I was gyrating with 300 nubile pieces of perfect pulchritude (doncha just LOVE that word? No? Oh, sorry, it’s just I have never had an excuse to use it before), none of whom could hold a candle to her for looks or personality that I could see and hear in that environment. I guess that means I will just have to marry her some day. Till then, thanks for reading - keep on biking people! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 11th, 2004
3:54 am	TV Thoughts I have recently been watching American TV in the raw, delivered via the internet, including the adverts. Fascinating. The programs I have watched are not to be taken as a view of all of the best or worst of the shows on American TV, including advertisements. I have noticed some very clever, but at times heartless expert psychology in the reality shows. Put them under pressure, watch them sweat and cringe, see the fear. When it is the contestant who suffers I have no problem. However, when it is their relatives… My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé has a woman lying to her parents about her forthcoming marriage to a total slob. They are horrified, angry, afraid for her. Later they will be told it is only a game, she did it for the money. Uhuh. She lied to her parents and upset them, based on their love and caring for her. What will they think later when she tells them things? “This is the daughter who upset us for money.” How long before they trust or forgive? Depends on the people involved I know, but that pain looked… well, painful. Did they volunteer like Survivors, Average Joe and Fear Factor contestants? No, they are bystanders being hurt for the cameras. I don’t like that. I imagine the parents don’t like it either. Mumble moan groan. I asked some decent friends if they would do it for the money. No. I asked again and probed. No. And no, I would not do it for the money either. But yes, I am watching it. I will have to make sure not to buy anything sponsoring it! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 2nd, 2004
4:26 pm	Finding Positivity in the nagative Other people's angers and frustrations, their negativity and pessimism help me into my positive state very well indeed!! When I see a poor magician I see the mechanics of their tricks, it is a gain. There are even simpler examples as well.... About 6 years ago I used to do a lot of work for a company nearby. Their drivers, who changed all the time, would come to my home to deliver and collect equipment from me - some of it large, heavy and awkward to manhandle or carry. The firm was always in a state of chaos - as it is to this day. One day, there was a new driver/delivery man. He was small and obviously had a close relationship with foods that hang around on your body for a long time. The culinary connection seemed to be on-going and it meant that his ability to move was not optimum. At the same time, he equally obviously did NOT have a close and loving relationship with exercise of the strength building type. This man was not the happiest I had ever met. His voice was thin and querulous and he felt the need to complain constantly about his new job and employers. His negativity was so pure, so untainted with any hint of optimism or allowance for others it was too extreme to have the least effect upon me. He became a caricature, almost a Mr Magoo or a cartoon Scrooge. This, in itself, was undeniably entertaining but there was a far more valuable second effect. One day he was trying to move some equipment and hurt his finger. He exploded with rage and pain, shouting and almost stamping his foot at the pain. I saw before me - me. Exaggerated to a large extent, but Me nonetheless. Me complaining at life, me blaming the wind for blowing away the paper I had put down on a rock on the beach on a breezy day, me complaining when the cat pulled on the power cord, me whining that nothing is right when I, doing woodwork, get a splinter in my finger. Who got a splinter? I did. Who was doing the woodwork? I was. Who made the mistake with the wood, the wind the cat? I did. Yes, the ownership of the problem - the responsibility for the end results - was mine. God was not responsible for my minute by minute actions, because if He was, what was I but a cypher along for the ride in the body that bore my name - a mere passenger through life with a ticket to ride supplied by the cosmos. Other people were not responsible for my actions either - nor for my REactions to them. They were responsible for their actions and reactions to me! How very liberating that was to know. What was more, seeing this man's struggles, isolated in his pain and frustration, I saw the absurdity and humour of feeling the way he was. He was in the flow of his own significance as A Wronged Person. I was an amused spectator of his internally generated rage. Had he been calmer he would have seen the ways around him for making his task much easier. But, given his shape, his obvious way of eating and living, the way he shouted at his wife on the phone, the rage was one of his tricks to keep the pain down and the importance of himself up. . It was everyone else, the wind, the weather, the cat, the tree that were to blame, responsible, attacking him. Hey, that works! "It is the fault of.... and I am being victimised. Love me, support me, see how important I am!" From that day to this, I don't think I have considered others at fault for my actions, or, if I have, I have been sure to remain amused! Seeing that man being so negative was a very positive experience! (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 1st, 2004
5:26 am	Back to looking forward Part 3 - or is it 4? If "ghosts" exist and come and predict things, why aren't they always accurate? As a postulated explanation, let's try thinking of it as a time measurement factor.... When people are born blind it is hard to explain colour to them. Perspective, as a concept, they can grasp, and can build a 3D world successfully in their heads, because they have real world feedback. When people become deaf their ability to talk "properly" goes away without a lot of special training, because they lose the auditory feedback. When you lose the sight of one eye you lose the ability to see things in 3D. When someone dies they are no longer constrained by the ticking of their body. There is no growing, aging, gravity, hunger, breathing - nothing to tell them the tick tock of existence. So, if an entity is wandering around and sees things in different times - how can they measure the distance between the day you are living now and the day upon which the event will happen that they are trying to warn you of? Maybe they even make mistakes? Why should the dead be infallible when the living are not? They can see MORE, but why should we assume they magically learn the workings of the entire universe? So, a vision comes of an airliner crashing called flight 222222. You were due to fly that flight the next day. You cancel. The plane doesn't crash. You shrug of the incident. 3 months later, a flight 222222 crashes on the other side of the world and you don't even hear about it. Vision discounted. Complex stuff this seeing into the future. Now, if ghosts had a calender that flashed up the date of everything they see, and your date as well of course, maybe they could be more accurate. (Comment on this)
5:24 am	Goooooooooooooooood Morning World A friend nagged me just now. Why nothing in my blog for so long?!!! Ok, here is something..... SOMETHING More soon, stay tuned! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 7th, 2004
4:36 am	Back By Popular Demand - Seeing the Future Part II How can people tell the future if it has not happened yet? It MUST be impossible. And if it is possible, why do so few people do it? Flight to the moon, 1000 years before we learned how to do it, was considered impossible - rightly so, for that time period. If you have no tools for a task, no training or skill, then you are not likely to be good at it. If you don’t even believe it is possible you are not going to be able to do it very easily of often! If something you wish to learn is outlandish, the need to believe before you try is great. The more “out there” the skill, the more you will have to use artificial means to ready yourself for the attempt. Do you believe you can walk on red hot coals without it burning your feet? If you do not believe in the possibility, how many of you will take that first step? I say this having walked on red hot coals three times so far and not been burned at all. Believe me, I HAD to believe in my ability to stop myself from burning before I took that first step. To get to that state of mind I spent many hours listening to the coach, along with the other people in the hall – over 8000 of them. We did tests to prove the ability to change our physiology, we got into an emotionally-heightened state using music and movement, chanting simple phrases and getting ourselves psyched up. It worked. We walked. We didn’t burn. Well, most of us didn’t burn anyway! To burn you have to drop “out of state”. A soldier in battle can often feel no pain from very serious injuries – until after the battle is over. A state of mind exists where mundane things like pain are not felt. Reading the future deliberately is like that. Which is why so few people do it routinely. That doesn’t mean that the future can’t be read though. How many people can listen to the radio without a radio? A few people with strange responses to dental fillings can hear radio stations sometimes. A simple circuit with no electricity applied but with a cat’s whisker (or piece of nylon) and a crystal can also be used to listen to radio broadcasts because they are there even though we can’t see or taste them with our usual senses. Now, how would you convince someone they can have a “psychic” power like reading the future? You need to lull the critical, rational part of the mind into a state of acceptance. Give it some chants. Give it special clothes. Give it special lighting and ideas of antiquity and strangeness available to tap into. An object to focus on helps, a small jar of black ink, a crystal or glass ball, special playing cards to play out, or a candle flame to watch, and maybe music in the background. Think of religious ceremonies and you will get the same picture. Tools and props to lull the flock into acceptance of an other-worldly idea developed over thousands of years. (As an aside, 1500 or so years ago, the columns and ceilings in Christian churches were coloured to be like woodland groves, so that the vaulting was like amazing trees in stone). This does NOT automatically mean that anyone scrying with a crystal or laying out the Tarot cards will “see” anything at all! If anything it shows that so few people will do such things in the modern world that any successes are going to be limited to a very small percentage of a very small original number of people who are making the attempt. Next time I will talk about WHY science does NOT – nowadays – deny the possibility of the future being read! (Comment on this)
12:52 am	Welcoming the New Year!! A very dear friend said to me yesterday that their diary is all about personal things and not the world in general. I was struck by the thought that MY blog is all about outside things and not about myself at all! So, a short correction to that balance. This last Christmas I decided to do something different. Instead of staying at home eating nuts and watching TV with the cat I would stay with friends who had generously offered me free board in their home over the festive season. It was a very good choice. Many years ago a girlfriend said to me "I can't judge a relationship with a man till I have been on a holiday with him." I understood her point. How much MORE telling, then, to spend a time of year such as Christmas staying with people? Result? Revelatory. I stayed with two of the nicest people I have ever had the privilege to meet. We had a great time with a lot of laughter and even deep conversation. The food was wonderful - well, I did cook the turkey! - the scenery spectacular, the flora and fauna beautiful, the presents perfect. It was a home time, away from home but feeling far more at home than I do at home -which I confess is weird. Thank you, my Christmas hosts. You rock, big time. See you soon maybe ;) The best of luck and God speed on all your journeys this coming year - you deserve it well. (Comment on this)
Friday, December 26th, 2003
1:00 am	Foretelling the future Explained a little. Part one of an occasional series of many! I was writing about the seeing the future to a friend in their blog, but it became more long-winded than I was expecting, hence I moved over to here!! Imagine listening to people talking at a cocktail party. You are surrounded by an audio hubbub, most of which you ignore. Then, on the other side of the room, someone you really like or really hate starts talking about you – in a whisper. You notice. A feeling lurches through you of dread or hope, pleasure of pain, fear or happiness. Why? Because the event is significant to YOU. Other people at the party will react to different triggers, or to none, depending how important the triggers are to them. Let’s extend this a bit further…. You have always wanted a blue hat of a particular style. You go to a party and see someone wearing exactly the hat that you wanted. BIG emotional response. You say to people there “That hat is one I wanted. I had a feeling as I left home today I would see someone wearing it tonight – I feel soooo bad this has happened!!!” Both the described events are important to the person experiencing them, but only on a personal level. Ramp the event up to a cataclysm that affects a whole nation, and you will find many people sharing “foretellings” So, we “hear” what affects us on an inner level, which might not necessarily affect us in the outer world at all. The death of our favorite movie idol from another country is not likely to have an effect on our daily existence – except in our emotional centres. BUT our emotions are, at times, a far more accurate way of perceiving the world around us – in a deep way. We are “taught” within modern society to be a very rational calculating machine with emotions underneath. Oh dear, time to slip into another analogy! Modern person = Car trip Emotions give us a place to go and nothing else Calculation tells us how to get there. And nothing else. However, we had emotions for many generations before we had route maps, or the ability to say “Excuse me, can you tell me where Ugh has his cave?” We used emotion to drive us in all the important ways: choosing what we wanted, looking for it, pursuing it, gaining it. Powerful stuff – just think of a small child that is denied food by a parent unexpectedly, and you will see that emotional activity in a very obvious and powerful operative mode. The child doesn’t think “Hmm, my mother is not feeding me, I will make a ten unit fuss and noise and then she will feed me.” It thinks: “Hunger, outrage, food person is not doing the right thing. MAKE NOISE. GET OWN WAY FAST!!!” I think that back when humans were NOT exactly human and had a far lesser reasoning ability, they used a lot of perception abilities we are not usually able to access currently. A very good friend recently had a lot of “random” comments about something she was wanting to happen in her life. The next day it seemed about to start happening. She noticed the comments, not because she is very intelligent, not because she is perceptive – but because the subject is VERY important to her. She was able to hear a “pre-echo” from the universe saying “The window is open for you, go through it if you want to NOW”. Being headstrong and courageous, she took the plunge. She “heard the whisper at the cocktail party.” There is another aspect to this – The Law Of Attraction of which I have spoken a few times before. But, for the end of Christmas Day, I will leave you all in peace. Happy New Year to you all. Current Mood: creative (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 18th, 2003
12:29 am	How To Spot The Perfect Love Partner Someone said to me today that there is no such person as Mr or Miss Perfect. Then asked for my opinion. I disagreed. I was asked to explain the characteristics of such a One. So, I tried to find a generic shape, mental and physical for that Mythical Being….. One important proviso: this One is a One for Love and long-term companionship, I am not going to go into arranged marriages, marriages for money and so on here! First we have to make the “looker” generic, so age, colour, height, build have to be “right” for the person, but there is certainly no “One” shape, eye colour etc., however much Hollywood, the hair stylist, the fashion magazine or the clothing store tries to convince us otherwise. However, there are rules about this. They have to fit in with what the looker finds acceptable. And vice versa. How important they are to the overall design will vary. For some, aspects of look are VERY important, be it face or form. (I had a girlfriend once for whom I was “wrong” physically in just about every way possible. Wrong build, height, hair and eye colour. No dramatic moustache, no Mexican bandito look. In her turn, she was NOT an ideal beauty to me on first sight, though she had a dazzling smile. Then, over only a few weeks we both decided the other looked pretty wonderful indeed – all over, in all ways.) For Some looks mean very little indeed. Hmmm, this is getting far too complex. Let’s get wider in our scope then…. What are THE most important aspects of a Mr or Miss Right? Harmony, trust, caring, sharing. Interesting, fascinating, attractive as a person, full of special factors that are not found in such combination elsewhere. Someone you admire and respect. Someone whose look thrills you. Someone you want to open up to and to give everything of who you are, but who doesn’t take advantage of it, because they are doing the same for you. A generous soul. For MOST people, I think, the exact look is not very important, except perhaps at the start. As time goes on, and they grow more familiar, they see the other person’s personality more in their features – everything about that person takes on a special sweetness, because it IS that person. If this doesn’t happen, I don’t think it is love. I thought that was going to be deep, meaningful and illuminating! Never mind, maybe I will do better next time!! Current Music: Pompous (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 17th, 2003
12:01 pm	Power and corruption How can you tell? Thinking of recent experiences of my own, and those of a friend in another land and culture, we have both seen at least one seemingly pretty nice person become a bit of a monster when given power. Starting with my own experiences; a woman who bravely stepped up to be chair of the controlling committee of a voluntary group I do some work for and became a “That is for me to say” tyrant. And another woman who said all she wanted to do was organise charitable contributions and changed to “We have some high worth individuals in our organisation – I will get them to contribute and everybody should!” And was revealed, simply, as a bully. “I put so many hours into this organisation every week!” was the cry of them both. But so did a lot of other people. Quietly. Happily. In a generous, giving way. Maybe one pointer to trouble ahead was the fact that on both their email signatures they put their position in the group – even short notes to people within the group who knew exactly what their position was. So, is there a way to tell that a meek, mild person is not going to turn into a tyrant once they are given power? Ah, my friend’s experience? They helped someone into a job. The man then had a disagreement with my friend and has grown steadily more controlling and rude. Why? No idea. And the recently elevated man’s needs/demands have become ever more unreasonable, he manner in email ever more offensive. My friend, for the good of others, remains polite; and his very goodness is used against him. So, how to stop the mini-Saddams from ever having power in the first place? How to spot them before it is too late? A quote the tyrants don’t like – but which I love is: "Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." - Abraham Lincoln Merry Christmas again! (apologies for spelling mistakes - spell checks are for sissies ;)) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 13th, 2003
2:41 am	For Evil to succeed it only takes for Good to do nothing - Someone Famous Sometimes a journal gets left for weeks or months – sometimes one writes daily, spurred into action by events or people. Today I have been spurred, so indulge me patient reader! Everyone thinks they can perform brain surgery Everyone thinks they can sing like a diva Everyone thinks they can dance like a ballerina Everyone thinks they can do high level stochastical analysis Everyone thinks they can communicate Everyone thinks their position in a debate or argument is correct. Everyone thinks they are good car drivers Everyone thinks their current way of going about getting their own way is the best possible for them. Ok, there IS something very wrong with that list. Every sentence is obviously incorrect, though the last four have some connection to the reality. If you remove “everyone” though, and put “large numbers of people without any justification” you will be spot on. Hmmm, there is no Christmas spirit in this entry so far! What drew all this drivel forth? Read on, if you have nothing better to do such as counting the motes of dust that dance in the sunlight over a period of 45 minutes…. A man with power is walking over a man without power. The man without power is hampered by… his goodness. The man with power senses this and takes advantage of it. The reasons for his action? Spite I think, more than anything else. Why should he have spite for the man without the power? Because the man without power happens to be a man with a different sort of thing altogether; something “the man with power” can’t understand, but seems to hate. The “man without power” is liked and loved by many people. THAT is a better power. The battle is theirs, not mine at all, but I know which side I am rooting for. The “man with power” almost certainly thinks he is in the right. The “man without power” also thinks he is right. But his arguing with the “man with power” is to look after people in his charge, not for himself. On a deep psychology level, you could say that he is aiming to get his needs met, even when working to help others – but I don’t think that is a bad thing per se. After all, the “man with power” is doing the same thing – but only for personal advantage. So, we have two protagonists. P and Non-P. Both feel correct. Non-P will not use tactics related to anything bad to get a victory for his team. P will do whatever he likes. Non-P could make things difficult for P; but only by resigning his wards into the hands of Mr P., or by doing things that do not sit easy with him. He sees the difficulties in his situation more than the resolutions. So, he stays in a situation where P humiliates him, he flinches from the blows, swallows any pride and keep acting as an honest advocate for his charges. He helps his charges in a small way, protecting them from P. Higher-ups do nothing. Solution? As communications is an area of coaching that I focus on a lot, I can see a few avenues of approach. But Non-P wants to be genuine to himself, to speak in his own way, “fight” the battle his own way, and, for all I know, call for divine intervention. He has my services any time he wants. I am not hampered by his level of goodness! (Comment on this)
Friday, December 12th, 2003
2:21 am	Scrooging…. There are aspects to the modern Christmas that I have, at times, almost sneered at. I am a lover of history, and have read many books about the origins of all the major religions – and some of the very minor – and used to think “This is NOT a proper thing for Christmas” about one thing or another. I believe in the goodness of the message, whatever religion someone believes in. A birth of hope. A birth of a new year. A new life. A New Religion to save the world, building on all that came before. Well-meant. A thing of love and goodness. Not some shop thing!! Bahh humbug!! I live alone, have for the last six months since my working partner who lived in the same house collapsed and died. Every year, we used to do cards for lots of friends family and neighbours, while to a certain extent moaning about the tradition: too modern, too commercialised, too silly, means nothing, only works for re-connecting to distant relatives, old aunts, grand-parents in another land etc. This year, as every, the newspaper delivery girl put a card through the door, hoping for a reciprocal one with money in the envelope… ho hum, bah humbug… and nothing else. Then, this evening, through the door, a card to me, the first one from a neighbour just to me this year. Linda and Peter, 4 doors down. My name spelt wrongly, the handwriting what you would expect from someone who rarely writes anything longer than a short note for the milkman – yes they still deliver in England – a simple little card, probably from a box of 1000 from some huge chainstore. And suddenly, I felt the Christmas Message. Pure and simple. Pure partly BECAUSE so simple. “Merry Christmas!” Un-assuming. Hand delivered, by a friendly neighbour I maybe speak to once or twice a year. “Merry Christmas!” A sincere thought, coming from goodness. “Merry Christmas!” I want you to be happy. “Merry Christmas!” We are thinking of you. “Merry Christmas!” People care. “Merry Christmas!” You have significance. “Merry Christmas!” You exist. “Merry Christmas!” People are only a closed door away. “Merry Christmas!” Sometimes our cynicism gets in the way of the good things in life. Things which come out at times like Christmas. An event for celebrating… all I said in the first paragraph. I KNOW some people love me, but that card meant so much. What about the people who DON’T know they are loved? How much better for them to get a card, just a simple little card. A kiss and hug from the soul to the soul. Hey boy! Go buy that turkey for Tiny Tim! Merry Christmas Everyone Current Mood: thankful (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, November 29th, 2003
5:23 am	The fairness of Time's furrows I think it wonderful the way snakes reveal their scales as clearly as leopards their spots; I begin to suspect it is impossible for them not to. I have long believed that as Time's scythe works on our features, ploughing its furrows, the alterations so wrought reveal who we are fairly well. You can have a wrinkled old person with luminous beauty - I think of a woman called Ellen here - a dignity and strength that is stern but fair. Then, the people whose faces are twisted with angers and hatreds, self-pity, blaming, victimology. This, I find so verrrrry fair! If we have to look older, how better than by looking like ourselves? Ok, wandering off the topic here! A good friend is beautiful, and always will be. There are no furrows on her face yet, but when they come they will be gentle and merely enhance her inner loveliness. Meanwhile, those who are vicious will be clearly revealed! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 10th, 2003
3:01 am	Life Is Fascinating Many years ago, my father recounted an incident involving the two elderly sisters of James Joyce the Irish writer and a man who went to visit them called Mr Rogers. Rogers was meeting them to find out about the publication rights to their brother's writings. The sisters had not spoken to each other for many years, and seemed to resent having to be in the same room. They sat to either side of him, prim, rigid, cut off in their own small worlds of serious anger about some past schism between them. After some time, one turned to him and said "Life is HARD Mr Rogers" and faced forward again, proud of herself. The second sister quickly turned to the hapless man and spat out "Life is WHAT YOU MAKE IT Mr Rogers!" in triumph and lapsed back into her silence. Many people agree with the first sister. Me? Sister Two, definitely. There have been some terrible events in my life that, if I had the requisite skill with the keyboard, could render sensitive readers to tears. However, those same events handled with a positive focus would bring shouts of joy and congratulation. No, it is not that I did something wonderful, far from it. Nor that my challenges were worse than those of most people. I have always believed that there are lessons to learn and growth to be had in anything that happens to you. In this journal, you may in the past have read a reference to the Law Of Attraction. The universe seems to give you what you focus on. It doesn’t know how to say no, some say. So, if I think “I am going to learn a lot here.” I will. And, with all that preamble in mind, I have noticed that some of the very worst events lead to the greatest growth. I was coaching a client recently who had given me very poor instructions on how to find his house – so poor, in fact, that he told me the name of the street NEXT to his own, and neglected to tell me the name of the house. I wandered the streets, and, to cut a long story short, arrived 30 minutes late. He thought I was angry, but that came from inside him. He was paying for the time, I explained, whether I was walking the streets (he was supposed to collect me from the station in his car) or working with him. This upset him greatly. Perfect. He was needing to learn to handle his emotions for a stage presentation he was due to make a few days later, and this gave me a perfect opportunity to help him learn to do that in just about another 30 minutes. Had I arrived on time, no trace of this problem of his would have been evident. Thank you life. I would talk about a profoundly close friendship that has developed out of a serious event , but that, as they say, is another tale in the naked city, and to be told another time to those who want to read it. The message today? Corny but true, If you look for the bright side you will find it almost as easily as the dark side. Have fun people, thanks for reading. (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 26th, 2003
4:00 am	Travels and musings I think I have learned that how I feel about a place comes much more from me than the place. I was born in London and there are some parts of it I love to this day. The place I LIVE in London is "okay." A bit over a year ago, I went to visit California. LA no less, home of plastic dreams, implants, liposuction and ceramic teeth. I expected to cringe at the tackiness and lack of depth. The sheer vacuity of the Haaleewerd experience. Arrived in Santa Monica. Ex-pen-SIVE hotel. But the sight of the place was very interesting, and the air clear. I travelled with a client and when we met up the next day he had been for a long run on the beach. It was like walking in a film set. Rockford *didn't* drive past in his Stingray, but it felt as though I had fallen through the cinema screen. I am used to travelling in Europe, and even Africa, but this seemed in a way more alien. In a fun exhilerating way. Yep, I was loving the whole thing. Moved on to Pasadena where I stayed with a friend. Not like a film set any more, but still as alien. And still as enjoyable. It was as though Americans believed in living well, in being happy, in being polite. The food was much cheaper and you could refill your coke when you ran out at a pizza bar!! Back to England. All my American friends said "You can't judge America by California!!" ok said I. A few months later, off to France, for the 4th or 5th time in a year. Fun place. They treat everyone as foreign and inferior - even French Swiss friends of mine at whom they turn up their noses. Well, that was Paris. Calai and Boulogne are much more amenable to strangers - having so many coming across the Channel from England all the time. However, if you TRY to speak French they almost forgive you and are friendly. A bit alien in a nice way. But cosy. Homely. With a lot of shared history. A few months later, to Ireland. Awesome. That is just home to me. Beautiful people. Again, is in my history. Some big events happened while I was there. Life changing. Bad events. However, you make your own life by how you respond to events, not how they act upon you! So, four months after *that* by invitation from some very good friends, back to the old US of. Arizona this time. Deserts. Mesquite. Sagauro. Palo Verde. Cotton tails. Jack rabbits. Ground Squirrels. Crickets. Heat. 106F one day. Aha, but. The heat not a problem. It felt like a warm blanket wrapped around me. And the sun nothing LIKE as hot in its effect upon my skin as in Ozone depleted layer England. The things I had liked about California were exactly the same. The roads, the attitudes, the friendliness. The people. My friends are wonderful of course, which helps. I even loved the scenery. Go back? When invited yep. We make our happiness (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 9th, 2003
3:29 am	Here I a... but not for long... so to speak The title of this box amuses me. Event. I plan and direct "Events", and here I am writing an event - or so the title of the box tells me, and computers never lie. . This reminds me About 12 years ago, maybe a little longer, a magazine announces a fantastic new data entry PA. It was very lightweight, shockproof and cheap. You couldn't wipe it with a magnet, you could leave it in the heat for hours and the batteries wouldn't go down. It would fit in a pocket. Could be attached to a PC for copying data across. Available all over the world.... you know the name of this amazing thing? Maybe I will tell you in another entry, or at least far enough down in this one you don'r saee it straight off. Yes, most of you have guessed. It was paper. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 17th, 2003
1:49 am	People and Events Have you ever thought “Wow, that actress was sooooo perfect in that part?” Me too. But here is a discordant idea for you, Hugh Grant as an action hero, with Dustin Hoffman as a weight-training, high kicking assassin and Bette Midler as a shy, mild heroine. Wouldn’t work? No, of course not. So, really, a large part of the acting success is playing the parts which suit the performer. Why am I talking about type-casting? Because in coaching I find that people who are having a problem with an area of their lives are approaching it in a way that doesn’t suit them. To go back to my acting example. Imagine a person who is the Hugh Grant type works for a large corporation and has a problem with a senior manager who is an ex- sports jock type. He will have to find a way of interacting that resonates with the jock, but trying to BE a jock will just look weird. And if a Bette Midler type wanted to use her feminine charm to add to her powers in a work or social relationship setting, she should work from what she HAS rather than act like she is built like a 19 year old Audrey Hepburn. These are only the most gross types of example. So why would anyone make their life so hard, by acting against their type? (Yes, All interaction is acting – I will put my case for that another time  ) Because their family and friends have mirrored back to them not who they ARE but how they appear to be to the other person. So, a mother might consider her daughter to be a wonderful party arranger and mixer-typel. The daughter thinks she must be because mother tells her so often, and how could mother be wrong? So, this shy woman, who anyway would like nothing so much as sitting in a library reading War and Peace in a corner, arranges birthday parties for her relatives, and hates every minute of it. Assumes “Oh well, life is hard for everyone, I am doing my duty.” To what? Not to herself. See you soon (4 Comments |Comment on this)